The best gift you can give this Mother’s Day
The best gift you can give this Mother's Day, is giving to YOU
By Erin Kyna, Erin Kyna Life Coaching
As a mother, you instinctively give to others before you give to yourself, but this can leave you feeling depleted, empty and tired.
At yoga yesterday I practised next to a beautiful mum who had a 10-month-old daughter at home (and an amazing chaturanga!). She was telling me how guilty she felt for being there as it was her husband’s first day off. I asked her how many days off she had had in the last 10 months. Her answer: none. And beautifully, her husband had said to her, “Go to yoga. You’re better for me and better for our daughter when you do”.
Take it from me, mums, we want you to look after you. We want you to make sure all your needs are met first. If your emotional needs are not met (in not so nice words – you’re needy) and you are giving your energy to others, it can result in you feeling like you require something in return. Giving from a place of emotional need leaves you with an energetic deficit. You may not even realise that this is what is happening, but we have all experienced that feeling when someone has given us something and expected something in return. You just know that it is not unconditional.
The way to unconditionally give is to meet your own needs first, then give to others.
If you were to write down all the activities in your life in two columns, one column listing all the activities that deplete your energy and the other column listing all the activities that provide you with energy, would this be balanced? Each week, do you participate in as many energy producing activities as you do energy depleting tasks? Is there any semblance of balance?
Does cooking deplete your energy, or do you lose yourself in the joy of cooking? What about cleaning and maintaining the house? Do you work out or practise yoga? What about playing with your children? Do you ever spend time listening to your favourite music or playing an instrument? When was the last time you did something for you?
Imagine that each day you are provided with a cup of energy. Each time you do something that requires your energy, your cup starts to drain. When we are constantly giving to and looking after others, the cup continues to empty and you begin to look for ways to fill it up. If you are not doing the activities that give you energy, do you look to others to fill your cup for you? Do you want your children to behave well, or your partner to clean the house? Do you feel you should have acknowledgement you for all you have done? Do you find yourself turning into a nag to get other people to do things for you?
I would like to set a challenge to all you mums out there this Mother’s Day, to spend 10 minutes each day doing something just for you. This 10 minutes is ‘love the bejeezus out of yourself time’. It could be taking a long shower using your favourite products. It could be 10 minutes of reading your favourite book. It could be meditation or a walk around the block. It could be enjoying your favourite cup of tea in total peace and quiet. The list is limitless. Giving yourself just 10 minutes a day to restore and replenish your energy will in turn allow you so much more energy to give back to others.
I know that even 10 minutes can seem unachievable for some mums and, if that is the case, I request that you ask for help! Ask for support from the people around you to help you create 10 minutes of you time a day. We set the stage for how people treat us, so make this request and let them know that you value yourself enough to create this time. Let them know that you need 10 minutes a day for you in order to do everything you do in return.
Mum’s around the world, you require a massive high five! Keep doing what you’re doing because the world requires your love and support. We couldn’t do all we do without you. All we ask is that you love yourself as much as we love you. Take the time to do the things that make you happy because we want you to be happy, we want you to be revitalised. We all benefit when mum is happy!
Erin is an accredited Life Coach. Erin says, "it is my passion to help people transform their lives. Find that sense of who you really are and to live that proudly. I want you to radiate who you are out of every cell of your being. I want to have passion and purpose about all that you do. I want you to smile, just because. I coach clients around the world to build a solid foundation on which to grow." Visit Erin's website to find out more. Nourish Melbourne is also proud to have Erin Kyna Life Coaching a part of the Nourish Melbourne Community and Membership Program.
[Image credit: tathra.me]